Why I write ...

This evening I read a comment from a fellow blogger. 

I do not know this person and had not previously read his/her blog. The comment essentially advised me to comment on other's blogs so that my own blog would be read and be "taken more seriously". I didn't know how to respond or how to react to this comment, other than to feel a bit naive about blogging in general. I've never written a blog and I don't subscribe to any blog on a regular basis. If I have something to say, I write it or (eventually) say it. I don't comment for the sake of filling up space, or putting in my 2 cents, or ... whatever other reasons there may be. Nevertheless, this comment did make me begin to question (again) why I am writing this blog.  

I began writing this blog because I was asked to blog about my experience as a "Virtual Walker" for The Walk for Depression Awareness. I continue to write this blog because I believe in the importance of speaking out about depression and anxiety. This does not mean that I am in any way a model for how to live with depression and anxiety. I screw up, I stay in bed, I refuse to exercise and I have in the past, used alcohol to cope with the pain and hopelessness. There are times when I am probably very hard to deal with or to reason with. I understand that there have been many conversations that were incredibly frustrating and disappointing for both myself and my friends and family members.
I remain a work in progress.

I firmly believe that what held me back from seeking treatment and accepting mental illness as a "real" illness was the lack of communication about this disease. I believed that people who had depression were crazy and weak. Because of my own stigma against the illness, I refused to get help and insisted that I could manage this on my own.

I am writing, not because I believe that I am a great writer or have any special insight, but because I live with this day to day and I want others who suffer from depression and anxiety to realize that they are not alone and there are others who are finding a way to live with this on a daily basis. That it is possible, and that they are not crazy.

My sister sent me Christine Stapleton's blog nearly a year ago. I remember reading it and breathing a sigh of relief. It's funny, sensitive, well written, and honest. It was an incredible eye-opener for me and is one of the few times that I am moved enough to post a comment now and then:)

http://www.christinestapleton.com/